I look back fondly at my youth, yet through it all I wouldn't want to go back and I wouldn't change a thing if I did. Even with all the struggles, for they were what taught me.
I've thought long and hard about that one. I mean everything you are is a result of the experiences you've had in your life. Maybe if one thing changes then everything does...
i was thinking this the other day. where they hell does it go? every day we look in the mirror and it wasn't the person there yesterday. frightening stuff.
thanks bug, you know - I know that I have good qualities just like anyone else but there's always a battle between me and this other voice that says maybe you're just shit?.
cbg isn't really a pictorial representation of me (though of course this picture is). She is a girl with some of the same qualities but also not - she's like superme - I'm clark kent.
14 Comments:
At 12:11 AM, Anonymous said…
I don't know the answer to that question.
I never knew that girl.
And what changed is none of my business.
All I know is in the here and now.
And this girl a remarkable person to me.
At 9:31 AM, jedimerc said…
I can certainly relate. At age seven, I refused to believe Darth Vader was Luke's father (and refused to believe until Return of the Jedi).
I sort of liked not knowing...
At 9:54 AM, ChickyBabe said…
What matters is the girl, age now. what does she think?
At 7:30 PM, M said…
phil - thanks phil. I don't even know the answer to that question.
jedi - truth: it's a hard lesson to learn! That *was* a harrowing moment.
chicky - I guess she thinks she's a freak.
At 2:55 AM, The Absent Minded Landlord said…
I look back fondly at my youth, yet through it all I wouldn't want to go back and I wouldn't change a thing if I did. Even with all the struggles, for they were what taught me.
At 9:55 AM, M said…
I've thought long and hard about that one. I mean everything you are is a result of the experiences you've had in your life. Maybe if one thing changes then everything does...
At 3:57 AM, Walter said…
She's still there, just hidden by all the years and experience.
At 6:05 AM, jeut said…
i was thinking this the other day. where they hell does it go? every day we look in the mirror and it wasn't the person there yesterday. frightening stuff.
At 11:25 AM, M said…
walter - once they're gone..they're gone forever I think (unfortunately).
jeut - I know..it's like we render over ourselves every day with layers, layers, layers...
At 6:07 PM, general_boy said…
I wish I could draw like that!
Just a thought, maybe people that care about you see more of that girl than you do?
:)
At 12:35 AM, Dan said…
Even though she doesn't know the answer to the question she looks happy. It seems like a genuine smile, not forced.
Happy New Year M! Glad I blog-met you in 2006. Lots of love, Dan
At 11:51 AM, M said…
gb - thanks! Um, I really wonder sometimes what people "see".
dan - hey dan I'm glad I blog met you too :) I think mostly she lived in her own head which is fine when you're a child...
At 9:46 AM, Bugwit said…
I hear ya about the wondering what people see (about me, silly).
In your case, though, you are smart, funny, witty, sweet, lovable and (I can only go from your drawings) attractive as well.
I know how you are feeling, but just hang in there. Something will change to help you feel better.
P
At 12:28 AM, M said…
thanks bug, you know - I know that I have good qualities just like anyone else but there's always a battle between me and this other voice that says maybe you're just shit?.
cbg isn't really a pictorial representation of me (though of course this picture is). She is a girl with some of the same qualities but also not - she's like superme - I'm clark kent.
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